“Isn’t it funny how the most unforgettable scenes can be the most trivial?”
Time for another “life” post. No EVE Online to be found here, sorry friends.
The quote above isn’t something new or original. It’s been repeated perhaps thousands of times in every medium, from anime to a short story, in one way or another. I can’t help but think again, about its implications. Funny, huh. I guess so. I guess sometimes unforgettable things may seem trivial, but not all trivial things are unforgettable.
If that makes sense.
Something so small, so fragile and delicate, something that could disappear at the slightest gust of wind, could be someone’s treasure. Maybe it’s a picture of a loved one. A signed piece of clothing from an idol. Or even a life, perched so precariously on the brink of death.
Maybe it was the glimmer of sunlight shining through the clouds. The soothing patter of rain on glass. The smell of cut grass or the taste of a particularly delectable cookie.
When it comes to what’s unforgettable, every moment changes what that could be. There are many moments I do know I told myself to keep close, but have forgotten. There are many names, places, friends, hopes, dreams I have known, but cannot recall anymore.
Each loss seems so important, and I wonder how I could have forgotten all of this, and somehow, somehow I remember something a friend back in early primary school did, his habit of eating the seasoning for some dry noodle snack, straight from the packet.
Trivial, I guess. And yet, unforgettable. At least, I still remember it now, many years on.
I wish for immortality, sometimes. And yet, I wonder if I could remember every instance of my life, whether I would still wish for it. Perhaps it is only possible to want immortality because I cannot remember everything about the past. Perhaps it is only possible to wish to continue forward forever, because the footsteps left behind are erased by the shortcomings of memory.
Is life worth preserving infinitely, or is the natural cycle, which includes death, necessary? If I had eternal memory as well as life, could I finally be able to see why I need to die? Do I need to be immortal, to want to die? I laugh a sad little laugh at that.
We continue to stride ahead because, as the saying goes, time heals all wounds. Take it a step further, and even world wars can scab over, fall off the skin of the earth, revealing unblemished naivety behind. What was a world war, we may say thousands of years later? This would never happen again. Records are destroyed, history is erased… history repeats.
Who knows if this could happen? I’ll be long gone before then. But if I lived forever, I could witness these carefree words I utter now at a whim, come true before my eyes. Would I regret it then? Would I watch helplessly as my immortal body witnesses again and again the failings of man, until I wonder why I had not chosen the end of the road?
Is living forever walking down the road of time forever, or pausing where you are forever?
Damnit. These posts always come back to the same things…
I just wish I didn’t forget things so easily. My mind is so preoccupied with wanting to not forget things, that when important moments drift by, I fail to savour them to the fullest. So full of ideas, dreams and hopes that I fail to grasp what’s right in front of me, sometimes. I can’t help it, I’m weak. I let myself drift off, un-anchored, and reality is substituted more often than I should allow.