Doing what I do… worst

I’ve recently been told by some militia members to manufacture Republic Fleet Firetails for myself when I was talking about wanting to fly them. I was pretty scared. Like, terrified. I hadn’t touched the manufacturing/industry window since the tutorial, and hadn’t even looked at it since the overhaul from Crius (?).

But, I have to hand it to CCP, my fears were unfounded. Lets safely assume I had no clue what I was doing; I just had the blueprint of the item I wanted to make.

Continue reading Doing what I do… worst

EVE’s ANZAC Day Roam – One hell of a day

Past few days have been me playing EVE so late that when I got off I was too tired to even bother posting. The days before that, I have to say, was doing a hell of a lot of assignments for uni and all that good stuff. So balance, right? Work hard, play harder! Wait…

ANYWAY.

All my other shenanigans over Friday and Saturday (remember, for you international readers out there I talk in UTC +10) aside, what I partook in on Saturday, for the whole day, was the incredible experience of three consecutive roams, each ranging from 2-4 hours in length.

The ANZAC day roam has been happening for some years now, and this year was no different. Our Australian spaceship superstars (their names will probably pop up in below somewhere) this year organised two roams, one following the dawn service, and one later at night in AU TZ’s (BEST TZ) prime time. Both roams were hosted by Redemption Road, a group led by Greygal who run frequent NPSI roams out of Berta, a system down in the Derelik region of space.

In addition to these two roams, there was also an NPSI interceptor/T1 frigate roam also hosted by Redemption Road IN BETWEEN the two ANZAC roams. When I saw the timetable for that fateful Saturday, I knew I had to set my day aside for it. So I did. And it was so, so worth it.

Continue reading EVE’s ANZAC Day Roam – One hell of a day

Biting my tongue

If I set any rules for my blog it would’ve had to be that I write what I want to write. Over the past year, that has proven quite successful at producing content regularly, and I was very satisfied with it.

My last post kinda followed on from the post before it, but I don’t think I mentioned that that post (the hurdle one) had people talking about it in-game, to me and to others. I suppose such a post will do that. Anyway, I was a little scared by the attention, mainly because I felt the message wasn’t being interpreted properly. So I tried to address it in my next post.

In doing so, when writing the follow-up, I found myself asking “what do the viewers want to read/what do I want the viewers to read?” I lost the essence of my blog in that moment, because I wasn’t thinking about what I wanted from the post, only what I could use to correct other people’s views of the post prior to it.

People still call me immature even always disagreed with them silently, but sometimes, reading back, I do see the immaturity there, seeping through the cracks of my carefully crafted internet armour.

Continue reading Biting my tongue

The first hurdle

It’s a freaking big one.

So my dream to turn the Minmatar into a single-minded Hive/borg/collective capable of crushing anything in its path has hit a sudden barrier.

Around two days ago, an alliance by the name of WINMATAR. rejoined our militia.

From what I know, the story goes like this:

Once upon a time there was a super strong Minmatar alliance aptly named WINMATAR. who, we’re very prominent in the FW scene. Suddenly, perhaps their power got to their heads, and they took it upon themselves to go appropriate friendly POSes, by force if necessary.
The other Minmatar alliances, I assume attempted diplomacy first, but ended up declaring unified war against WINMATAR. Civil war broke out, chaos reigned, atrocities were committed in the name of war and for the sake of victory, but eventually if the records I’ve read are true, WMTR were defeated and (dramatic tone) banished for eternity. So they did disappear for a while. Then they resurfaced, with the same alliance name, now oddly out of place on the Amarrian side of things. Many a Minmatar capsuleer were killed by their hands, and it’s hard to erase the bloodstains from the stars. I speculate sometimes about that reddish tinge in Minmatar space. Blood and rust. I digress. Where was I? Oh yes;

Now they’re back. Continue reading The first hurdle

Our power

I like to think of ways we can overturn the world order and establish a utopian society for the whole world. Fun, fun. Indeed, when people say I’m air-headed or a daydreamer or immature, I don’t bother defending myself, because these are symptoms of me spending too much time calculating just how we could reach a utopia.

-shrug- Perhaps it’s all the games I’ve played and books I’ve read that make me think this is even a remote possibility.

This could be interpreted as optimism, but it’s interesting because I like to bash myself and point out my weaknesses a lot, as well as the flaws in my or others’ reasonings, and enjoy discussing the overarching issues, ranging from poverty to first-world problems, that plague today. I suppose because of that, you can’t really call someone completely an optimist, or completely a pessimist. There’s a bit of everything within us; human beings are complex.

Continue reading Our power

The Hydra

The Hydra, a mythical serpentine monster which possessed many cruel heads atop long, writhing necks, each of its breathes exhaling deadly poison. Its body is covered in hard scales, and should a hero with monstrous strength penetrate such a hide, he or she will be bathed in virulent blood that boils the skin and corrodes armour.

The true strength of the Hydra, however, lies in its seemingly magical ability to replace a severed head with two others, a gift that rivals immortality.

Many people I’ve talked to since getting back into Minmatar FW have been saying things like “this is the most disorganised we’ve ever been, we need to do something about it.”

In fleets, the main problem is finding more people, ending in “if we had x more, we could do y.”

If. If. IF.

Continue reading The Hydra

>:)

Ahh… solo PvP. How I’ve missed you. Just a snapshot of my losses recently; it seems I’ve been getting a bit rusty with my PvP skills in addition to my blog post titling.

I’ve dipped under 100m ISK for the first time since I started incursions (the incursion FC career I had to discard when I rejoined FW), and I’ve never felt more liberated. Let me tell you something that EVE has taught me about the human condition. Essentially, it’s good to have wants. I dream of an EVE where my wallet shows an ‘infinite’ symbol and I can buy all the Vexors in the world, but the point is, I dream of it. In my short lifetime, I’ve come to realise these ‘dreams’ are a necessity for a healthy mind. Yearnings, I suppose you can call them. Desires. Not so much as to consume your whole mind, but enough so that you realise there’s always something you’d like that you need to work towards. I never thought I was a goal-setter, but retrospectively, I suppose this is some form of setting goals for oneself.

I’m tempted to burn the rest of the ISK right now. Tempted to take my remaining 70m, spend it on a cool ship, and go fly out into the horizon and die gloriously. I probably will do so tomorrow. I don’t want a buffer of liquid ISK, living on the edge of space-bankruptcy was how I constantly sought to do more with less and sent my mind into theory-crafting overdrive.

It’s interesting, how I’ve slowly progressed from being the one to ask questions to the one who has been answering them. I only noticed recently that, one year in, I’m standing at the top of the learning cliff. This isn’t all good, though. Knowing what a fight will probably turn out like means I don’t take fights I used to take, knowledge brings fear and ignorance is once again proven to be bliss.

I need to let go. Let go of the worldly ties with material substances like ISK. It doesn’t matter insofar as it makes the adrenaline pump so hard that my hands shake because if I lose, I lose the ISK I worked hard for as well as the time spent fitting and buying, but if I win I keep all that, and the opponent(s) is the one who must return home in a pod. Apart from that, I shouldn’t let the fact that I’m running low on ISK stop me from taking a fight, because its probably those fights that I can learn from the most.

The return to solo PvP too, has revealed to me that I’ve forgotten a lot. I got used to the numbers being in our favour, and I’ve lost the ability to concentrate with enough intensity on all the factors that influence a fight. I’ll need to work on that.

Anyway, I’m trying to get my head around the basics once again, and strip myself back down to the core and work myself back up. This break has given me an opportunity to breathe, now it’s time to head back into the deep end.

And the backlog of university homework just builds up…

Curing burnout, refinding fun

The ultimate question all EVE players will eventually ask themselves:

“Can I be bothered playing anymore?” (known variations: “who should I give my ISK to?”, “should I create a forum thread to announce my departure to anyone who cares?” and of course, “should I just go ahead and win EVE?”)

My EVE playtime has been patchy recently at best, and these are the questions that have been floating around in my head, when last year I would’ve thought now would’ve been the most I’ve ever played. I mean, I’m sitting at 25m SP, I have most of the skills that constitute a solid foundation for PvP, and my goal of being a renowned solo PvPer only becomes easier to achieve.

Only yesterday I confronted the issue of why I wasn’t so interested anymore, and it wasn’t self-reflection but it was in the process of a conversation with some guy who somehow remembered my name from EDU, after months, contacted me when I logged in for the first time in a while, and offered me a corporation to join.

Earlier that day, I have to mention, as soon as I logged in, two old members of the alliance I failed to support (feel a little guilty, but what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger) contacted me and asked me whether I wanted to join them on their next chapter in their own EVE careers. They expressly told me they missed the roams I led.

These two events had a hand in reviving the spark that I feared I had accidentally extinguished by burning a little too brightly at the end of last year.

Continue reading Curing burnout, refinding fun