Dreaming big: why I do FW

My EVE Online Faction Warfare goal is becoming a little more well-known to people as my little blog starts to reach the eyes of a wider audience. Interesting tidbit: according to my statistics, much of this audience comes from Sugar Kyle’s blog, and my blog link there. I guess it’s something I have to thank her for. I never began writing as if I had an audience, rather, I wrote as if I would want to understand my posts if I were to read them in the distant future. It’s a style that I guess doesn’t really work for some readers as I leave out a lot of context that maybe only I know, but I suppose the posts are at least barely understandable or I’d be getting no views at all.

Oops, there it is again, my classic digressions.

I was talking about my FW goal, that is, to conquer the war zone, and how it is reaching the ears of more people. I have been receiving lots of offers for advice and support, and I am extremely thankful to all who have offered their time and effort in EVE to reaching this goal with me. I am extremely thankful for the fleet members who fight and plex and die with me. It is great to see people see what I’m doing and are motivated to also step up. It’s all I could ask of them, really. To join me on my warpath, perhaps without all my… Weirdness.

A goal like this can’t be achieved alone. But what one person CAN do, alone, is to keep that goal in focus. That’s how I want to contribute to the climb of the Minmatar.

I want to make sure we don’t deviate or lose sight of a complete war zone victory. It’s tough. It’ll get tougher. But it will be so satisfying if we manage to get there. I guess I’m a magnifying glass, focusing the scatter rays of sun that embodies the hearts of all Matari. Wow I’d be a good role-player… Heh.

Why am I so obsessed with taking the war zone? I… I don’t really know. I also don’t know what to do after we take the war zone. I think down at a personal level, throughout my life I choose the long routes, the unreasonably inefficient methods, and set myself lofty goals, without any real reason. It’s bad because I lose motivation sometimes, but other times, like this time, I realise why I can be so stubborn.

It’s for the journey. The destination matters not. When I acquire that medal that you get after you conquer the faction warfare war zone, I want to be able to look at it and recall the greatest and worst moments of my struggle to reach it. I want to be able to look at it, turn around, and thank every person who aided me in acquiring it. I want to be able to look at the Amarrians and respectfully thank them for fighting for their systems so well. I don’t want to go through hell for a medal just to forget I traversed hell. The token of victory is merely a token, I want that to mean something to me. I want to make it mean something. I want to be able to point at the critical moments, the turning points, the huge battles, and say I contributed as much as I can. Otherwise the medal is nothing.

This is how we can make mere pixels real. This is how we can see ghosts in shadows, how a child might imbue his or her toys with life. We can make inanimate objects hold the most powerful of meanings. Take wedding rings, for one. A loop of metal around that finger between your pinky and middle, that’s literally all it is, yet it captures or will capture years of loyalty and love, grief, sorrow and hopefully forgiveness. That medal might just be a few pixels on a screen, and that ring might just be metal with a shiny rock on it, but they are placeholders for our memories, the ones that linger and are never truly forgotten, anchored to that item, that object of interest. I’m beginning to lose track of where I’m going here so… Time to wrap up.

It may be that I am stuck in FW for years before we arrive at 100% control. It may happen in another few months. Whatever the case, it is important to me that I cherish the moments from now until the last system that we take from the Amarr.

So why do I do FW? The true answer I will only realise when I hold that medal in my character profile and I look back on all the posts I’ve made since I rejoined FW. Until then… The answer to that question with remain a work-in-progress.

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I'm just a poor boy, but I'd like some commentary~

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