Staying strong

I’ve burnt myself out once. The worry is that I could do it again. Recently I’ve caught up with the High Life Industries guys, and we still get along but I wonder if they… harbour any resent or see me in a different way, for bailing on them with almost no notice. I feel like some of them were dropping hints, and I don’t really want to play this game of words. Perhaps I’ll approach the issue directly next time I chat with them. It might not be a loose end at all but I want to just make sure. I was looking for a way back into EVE at the time, and well, FW was the answer. I’ve probably said this a few times now but it still astounds me just how strong the connections can be between people you meet in New Eden.

-sigh-

So, I had a ton of fun initially with the pirate alliance. I am having a ton of fun in FW right now. What could cause me to lose that sense of fun before we capture the war zone?

Well firstly let’s analyse the differences between piracy and FW. Firstly, and a big one, is the sustainability of FW. Piracy relies on income sources like DED sites, maybe a lucky ransom here and there, contracts from people if you ever become successful. For an unestablished newbie alliance, it was a huge challenge to search for answers to keeping PvP losses affordable. Some PvP corporations ask members to be self-sufficient, even asking members to buy PLEX for ISK. It’s an option but one I don’t really like.

FW sets my monetary troubles at ease. I’ve flown two pirate frigates and lost them within a week now, without even blinking an eye. In the two fleets I’ve run recently, I’ve offered 5m ISK to people who lose a ship. I got some implanted clones smart bombed. And I don’t even blink an eye, because I know in one night I can make 300m if I can be bothered running a solid set of FW missions.

The ISK question, which I used to dedicate many posts to in my struggle to answer it, is put to rest.

So what else might cause me to burn out? Well another obvious factor is activity.

Previously in my pirate alliance, I went out of my way to be consistently active, and ran roams for hours (in the US TZ), eating away at my time and energy. My studies were impacted. I didn’t care; I was having fun. Eventually though, my detachment from reality unfortunately came back to bite me with a vengeance; hence the 2-3 month break.

This time around, things are also a little different. For one, FW simply because of sheer population, is more accommodating of my timezone. When I play in my afternoons and nights, there are people to play with me.

However, the amount of time I’m spending on EVE is reapproaching it’s old levels. And that means the same ignorance of other issues in my life. In the spur of the present, I choose EVE, and only regret it later.

But nowadays every second I spend away from FW seems to make me think I’m letting the Amarrians do what they want.

However, there is one final comfort. I’m going to stretch out on a limb, although it may not be too much of a stretch, and say I probably offered the most content to The Black Sails. I was, if not irreplaceable, then at least important. And that meant my departure, since the rest of the leadership had disappeared, brought the alliance to it’s knees. Now that I think about it, perhaps I could’ve taken over. No. That isn’t me, not yet anyway.

In FW, though, there are other leaders. Of course there are. This isn’t some fresh-faced alliance, some FW players have been at it for years. I don’t have to worry as much about people getting bored when I am not on. It is a good feeling, especially because I’m the kind of person that seems to think everyone relies on me. Quite conceited to be honest, I should probably quash that line of thought.

Anyway, this means I can do things at my own pace and in my own time, and still contribute to the cause without burning out.

Yes. I want to see us achieve full war zone dominance. I will be there when it happens. I won’t be burnt out before.

o7

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