Nervous giggling ensues. Lots of words spew forth. (A lot of words)

Sometimes I look at madness and wonder whether sanity is surrounded by it, like a little white dot in the middle of a sea of blackness.

Or is it a black circle surrounded by white? What, isn’t that an eye? Wait, are we real?

Oh. That’s just me being me. Let’s get on with it.

Every self-respecting blog poster (I speak as if I have years of experience when I don’t, but I don’t really care right now) will probably check his/her blog stats now and then. Views are quiet important and all, I occasionally consider what posts got the most views/likes/comments, and wonder how they were so interesting.

Imagine my surprise, then, when a blog post I made tired and slightly confused late last night without even considering how to make it more interesting for readers, acquired a ridiculous amount of attention.

So, for all you bloggers out there who simply want views despite the price: make it controversial.

Well. So what’s this next post about now. Firstly, I will openly (and not for the first time, neither for the last) denounce myself as a naive idiot. -exhale-

Now that’s over. So today I thought, under the guise of starting an open-militia fleet, I should be okay adding soon-to-be war targets to my fleet.

Interesting, right? “Soon-to-be war targets”. What does this mean? Well, Ushra’Khan has declared war on WINMATAR., along with Hoplite Brigade (who are supported by Scrapheap Mojo, to clear up any misconceptions). So in around 12 hours from now, we will be able to freely engage each other. I shrugged in a carefree way (apparently my devil-may-care attitude can sometimes extend beyond blog posts) and thought to myself that when the war ticked on, I’d shoot them, but for now, why not shoot Amarrians together? Is it not true that the enemy of my enemy is my friend?

However, and here is why I call myself naive, apparently my actions of being in a fleet with WMTR. caused my own alliance to lose face. You know, I tried diplomacy for the old Black Sails alliance once… and I managed to get all of Provibloc to set us to Kill-On-Sight. 😛 I think this is strike two for me, because I have once again unknowingly somehow managed to offend the higher powers and brought unwanted pain down upon my organisation.

And, well, when they approached me about it, I had every right to argue that an FC does not simply abandon his fleet because something something saving face and something something alliance’s reputation demands it.

But frankly I just backed down like a bitch and took it up the arse.

Cringe-worthy, I know. I never thought such base language would grace my blog, and even then, I didn’t think I’d use it on myself. I defended myself as best I could, of course, but apparently this was the ‘role-play’. I had assumed when I first joined that role-play meant we’d all act our best to be stellar Matari capsuleers, all the way to insulting Amarrians in-character in local to carrying fedos in our cargobays to prevent the rust from corroding our pods. As I learnt today, the role-play is not that kind, rather, it’s more like ‘rule-play‘. Hahahaha, wow, that pun escaped me without me even seeing it coming.

Anyway, it’s effective, but it has its weaknesses. For one, it’s slow. Decision-making is assigned to some few leaders, and in the interim, members can get the wrong message. Some with too much impatience, for instance, feel the system is not moving at their pace, get ahead of themselves, cause an internal ruckus, creating dissent where none should be created, all for nothing. I witnessed this first hand, and of course, the discord sped up the process of reaching the decision to war-dec, but is the negativity the right way to go about generating action, and will it always generate the right decision? I don’t even think that in the real world, today’s governments can give a straight answer to that.

But, alas, the other side is not without its imperfections either. WMTR. embodying a more casual approach to the game, eager for contents and fights, on the surface it’s great but I feel such a group attracts… tear-harvesters. This is, of course, simply an educated assumption based on the situation we’re in. Who knows whether behind their screens they’re laughing at the other side scrambling to combat their growing threat. I don’t know for sure. But when I watch militia chat, even simply by playing the good guys, and insisting they are returning with good intentions, WMTR. are indirectly creating even further discord and dissent between the Matari, and it really grinds my gears, because I’m almost certain they know it.

The clash of the two conflicting ideologies leads us to a stalemate: WMTR. has no obvious intention of making an apology for their betrayal before the other Minmatar alliances make a move, and the Minmatar alliances (from now on referred to as Matari for my fingers’ sake) don’t want to do what I just did, and be the bitch and take a scolding like a good boy. Both sides have valid arguments… and both sides make me want to give them a good whack on the head until they come to their senses.

But here I am paralyzed, between intrigue and curiosity at watching events unfold, and my frustration at not knowing how to stop this.

What I do know is that I felt absolutely torn when I was told to leave my fleet. I wanted to leave the corporation then and there, it was that heart-wrenching. I think I may understand an inkling of what it’s like for someone to take my children away from me without adequate reason. Maybe; I don’t have children. It was interesting, as my ship just drifted in space, and I watched people manipulate me from both sides of the fence. It was one of those out-of-body experiences, watching myself being assaulted from all sides, while questions floated around in my head.

Why can’t I say something powerful? Where is my magnificent speech that could end the war right now? Why am I bowing down to the requests of this guy? Why is this other guy being so annoying?

Goddamn. Abandoning a fleet like that, I’ve never done it before. It sucked. It just sucked. An FC can’t do that, and yet I was told by an FC to do it. Actually, that’s not the full story. It was either leave the fleet, or kick the WMTR. members.

Well, great. Be a douchebag, or leave like a douchebag. Options. Hmm. Well I pick… option C: fuck it all and make a blog post.

Seriously, kick fleet members? When that was presented as an alternative, I gave the boss star to someone else and left the fleet. I don’t kick fleet members. If someone is kind enough to fly under me, I’ll only kick him when he says he’s having so much fun he’ll seriously die if he doesn’t stop.

Argh, there I go again, blabbering on about nothing. Well, to be exact, the first bit is news. Big news, to be honest. Hell, this could develop into the next chapter of the Minmatar militia’s history. Hopefully it’s a brief stint. Hopefully tears are minimal. Hopefully after it’s over both sides will somehow reconcile and we can get onto business taking over the warzone.

I will stay though, on the side of order, and the Matari. This may have been the first time anyone has challenged their views on how to go about these kind of situations. It certainly seemed that way. They made me feel like I was back in pre-school and had just walked into the girls’ toilets and acquired the dreaded cooties.

Digression time: there’s another point I’d like to make. You know who really suffer here? This bickering only makes the game less fun for the people who just want to play it for some fun, who have the same burning desire to PvP like me, but need someone to teach them, or prefer to fly with friends, but log in to find a minefield of drama and politics between them and a fun fleet. I want to show everyone my burning passion for PvP, I want every new EVE player to experience those shaking hands, the wild butterflies in your stomach, the intensity of fights. EvE players like the guy who joined my fleet and didn’t have FW plexes on his overview.

Times like these I wonder how my old corporation mates are going. I wonder if I got it all wrong somewhere. But I’m not one to give up halfway on a path I’ve chosen. I’ll see where this leads to the end… FOR SCIENCE! (And to show myself I can be stupidly persistent in the most unreasonable ways, which should mean I can force myself to do my homework… eventually…)

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I'm just a poor boy, but I'd like some commentary~

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