Sheep amongst the wolves (and my old blog is down!?)

First point of business: My first ever post on this WP blog linked back to a GuildLaunch user blog, where I started off my first few posts and decided I liked it enough to get access to a much more well-presented and professional blogging site. This does mean that I’ve forgotten what exactly I’ve written in those first posts and I have no clue what I’ve lost there, which is a huge disappointment.

Server down, looks like the old forums were taken down.

Interestingly enough though, a current event took place today that has made me remember one of the earliest things I ever did in EVE beyond what a typical newbie does: join a chat channel totally unassociated with anything they’re currently doing in EVE. I’ve been in the public channel Spoonful of Sugar for a while now, and they are a source of fun conversations with Sugar Kyle, current CPM member and low-sec representative, and the unique assortment of people her channel, like any other, brings to my doorstep.

I don’t think I’ve actually gone into the full story of how exactly I found myself in her channel before, though. I could’ve sworn I’ve recounted it previously in this very blog, but all my searches have been fruitless, so I am guessing it was back on that GL blog.

Anyway, it all started when I joined my the TSOLE DUST514/EVE corporation in Molden Heath. I fancied myself well-versed in the art of the meta-game, you see, in my first months, due to reading lots of fictional detective stories and of course, Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. So when I learnt about Calamitous-Intent living in the area, and the caution with which my corporation treated them, naturally as a newbie instead of deciding to also keep my distance curiosity made me poke further.

I thought I deserved a Master Spy title or something of the like when I penetrated into the inner workings of their corporation description and joined their public channel. Surely, I thought, surely this is where all the dirty secrets would spill that could allow me to compromise their corporation. A week passed by, nada. I had to dig deeper.

My next brilliant stroke of inspiration came from checking player biographies. I analysed them, pondered the quirks and style of each, but I truly struck a nugget of gold when I came across one Sugar Kyle’s bio, listing another channel in there. My heart beat faster; this was the intel channel that only the inner circle of C-I had access to, for sure.

I joined, and I found myself assaulted with a treasure trove of information… about deployments and resource management butternut squash. “No”, I muttered to myself. Surely this was code. Perhaps they were discussing the abundance of targets in a particularly… buttery area.

Pumpkin soup… mmm…

I was stumped then. Lost. This corporation was an impenetrable fortress. Everywhere I looked they seemed to laze about in the region, projecting a calm face against odds that I wanted to be calm against. They acquired kills, they fought good fights, they were everything I wanted a corporation or alliance I lead to become, and yet I could not find anything about them.

I bristled in indignation. If I couldn’t understand their recipe for success, I would challenge it.

So I did.

Spoonful of Sugar: [ 2014.03.26 00:55:13 ] Revileushin Eyri > everyone knows C-I can’t be sucked up to, so the only alternative is to fight you guys into submission

Calamitous Intent: [ 2014.06.13 01:02:33 ] Revileushin Eyri > btw 7-2 i resolved a while ago to defeat your corp single-handedly. i am at 8.3m SP now
[ 2014.06.13 01:03:07 ] Revileushin Eyri > soon i will be ready
[ 2014.06.13 01:05:57 ] Sugar Kyle > so cute
[ 2014.06.13 01:06:00 ] Sugar Kyle > /emote picks up Revi
[ 2014.06.13 01:06:06 ] Sugar Kyle > /emote squeezes

I don’t know what prompted me say such words. I’m at 15m SP now, and I don’t seem any closer to this goal.

That event that happened today? A fleet in our new alliance failed to have a decisive fight against a C-I fleet. We lost ships, but not the whole fleet. I was not there, I can only assume that we were roaming, found C-I, skirmished, and then bailed. Our fleet were sheep amongst wolves, and I think we knew it. Even if we outnumbered them three to one from rough recollection, the aura C-I cowed us before a fight even breaks out.

I am partially to blame for this. I am that stubborn guy who refuses to chase the meta, and finds victory as the underdog the most satisfying. I see Calamitous Intent winning fights where they are outnumbered, without favouring the Ishtar meta (too much). And I fear them, and I let my doubts be known amongst my friends. “5 C-I members are currently on”, someone says. I reply: “5 is enough to kill us.” As I write this I know exactly how cowardly that sounds, and I realise now I am cutting the legs out from under us before we even begin. This will be the final time I ever demoralise my fleet like that, ever. If I have to speak the inevitable, it will be in after-action reports, never before. Once again, it is because I have that idea of what C-I is, and what we want to be, and the mismatch makes me quiver in my boots already.

Calamitous Intent is what I want our alliance to become, but also, they are the corporation we must aspire to beat to become what they are. What I fear the most is that there can only be one. Their motto is benevolence is unhealthy. I wholeheartedly agree with the blunt approach. I don’t want to try woe them with words or ISK. I utterly refuse to try and kiss up to them. So the only option is to look them in the eye and fight like warriors.

It will mean losses. It will mean scars, blood and pain. Perhaps this is the beginning of a long, hard campaign where I drive my soldiers into the ground mercilessly and climb their failing bodies, trying to reach the cold stars above.

But I swear in the name of all that is Fedo, I will become an FC that will never retreat from someone who does not first retreat from me.

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