It’s getting a little hot in here…

Things really pick up once you get real involved in the player aspect, eh. I am starting understand why most corporations never want to enter alliances.

It takes a certain kind of leadership to keep cohesion in groups like alliances, and I think ours is hitting all sorts of obstacles right now. Some we leap over effortlessly, some we clamber over, and others…

Today there was an argument between a CEO of a corporation who was interested in joining the alliance, and one of the directors for a corp in the alliance, resulting in the possible new corporation leaving our chat. 😦

I admit, I was being a bit naive when I imagined sunshine and rainbows all along the alliance’s path.

Every personality test I’ve taken points towards introversion. Whilst I may type a lot, it is not with perfect social decorum. I say stupid things, clueless things, I mutter meaningless sentences, I speak my mind when it makes no sense, childish things, spout random bits of wisdom, and I know it all means nearly nothing to the people reading what I’m saying, but I swear it all makes perfect sense in my head.

I like to think this doesn’t affect FCing too much. Usually, when there’s not much to say, I don’t say much. When I have a task at hand, though, such as leading a fleet through dangerous systems whilst trying to secure good kills, there is always something to say to keep the fleet hearing my voice (something I believe is quite vital), and I can handle that. I tell myself that I only speak when necessary. Not exactly correct. I only speak understandably, when necessary. Otherwise it’s most likely incoherent.

The thing is, being an FC brings some sort of authority to that voice, even one like mine. Don’t underestimate it. If you establish yourself as an FC, you have influence in the group of players you associate closely with. I found the opportunity as we were forming a new alliance, and people listen. They want to listen. Or at least, I think they do. I’ll admit there are times when I’m mid-sentence, and I realize no one cares. But that’s normal for someone like me. It’s more interesting when I have ideas, big ideas that I probably cannot execute alone, and know that there is a good chance if I bounce the idea off people around me, they will be happy to agree and help out. Extremely cool.

So every FC, unless he/she only exclusively logs in to FC, can do more. Some don’t; an FC I met in TRIAD, a Minmatar FW corporation, only appeared to hop on for the glory of PvP, and fleet commanding. I tried to do the same when I left FW, but realised the people I was with needed someone to lead more than just fleets.

Back to the disagreement. I’ll admit, I was extremely disappointed as I watched the two trade written blows over the chat in full view of other members of the alliance. Not with them, though. With myself, because my only solution to the problem, was to sit in the sidelines and watch, wishing the guy in our alliance hadn’t started the argument. This is a dangerous thought, because it leads to things like: “it’s his fault” and “he should take responsibility and leave”. Hell, in the midst of the argument, when I attempted intervening, he assumed I took the other guy’s side and pulled the “okay, if you want me to leave I will leave, and you can take this guy’s advice instead”. Ouch, bro. I’m just trying to mediate shit around here. But inside, inside I’ll admit a voice roared at him: “Well, then leave.”

By Empress Jamyl’s toenail clippings, this is hard work.

Scarier still, if I had stepped up and challenged his authority in front of our membership, I may have won.

Looking at the spike in posts recently, this leadership work really gives me a shit-ton to unleash my inner drama queen on. God damnit.


I'm just a poor boy, but I'd like some commentary~

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