Perhaps my computer simply refused to respond after my ship explodes, or perhaps my enemies can now Jedi-mind-bend me to their will and let them take my pods. Whatever the case, I’ve allowed myself to lose 160,000,000 (160 million) ISK in the span of two days. Observe:
Disgraceful. As much as I’d like to blame my computer for being unresponsive, I know I should’ve been mashing warp as soon as I knew I was going down. It is my fault entirely that I lost those implants, and I know it. That’s the worst part. -sigh-
It’s some kind of dysfunctional self-preservation instinct that keeps me pushing to the very end. Oh, I can’t win? Let’s try slingshot. Can’t slingshot? Let’s try get them to come closer. Jammed? That’s fine, surely it can’t last for long.
Is it a good thing to fight tooth and nail to the very end? In EVE Online, when you have a pod full of +4 implants, perhaps not. But that’s how I fight, or at least how I want to fight.
Furthermore, I PvP often, and I hate having to jump into a clean clone because it feels like I’m losing out on SP. Whilst I have repeatedly told myself the SP gap doesn’t matter, the voice in the back of my head is repeatedly telling me it does. Having those skills at 4 instead of 3 matters. Fielding T2 heavies instead of 5 mediums on my Vexor matters. Cramming Neutron blasters instead of Ion blasters on my Incursus matters.
PvP is glorious, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of it, but I shouldn’t let myself believe when I look back on my initial months that it was all a smooth ride. This is a climb to the top of a cliff ridden with false handholds, tribal cavemen who don’t want me on their mountain, and others like me, equally hungry to acquire the status of top dog.
160 million in two days. Remember it. This next training clone is going to last longer than a day.